I feel like I have been floating down a river that was wild and raging and having to hold on tight and nearly getting knocked off a few times but now it's like... just comfortable... gliding along.

Mom (thank you God deeply) is okay. Surgery went well and she is on a great road to health. I'm finally getting things sorted out in my head once again. I think the time I have stepped back has given me some good perspective.

Still working on a few things here and there that have me tweaked. I think in time it will fade.

Time spent in Dangerfield State Park and Caddo Lake was pretty cool. I think I could have canoed forever just listing and gently moving in the mirror flat water effortlessly. I did get my knees burned pretty bad there, but hey it was worth it. I zoned out for the first time in I don't remember when. Just kinda let go and wandered around in that state where your body is feeling healthy and outdoors... and your mind is empty and not worried for a moment... nature kinda seeps in and something just calms...

Trees reminded me of Canada. (deep happy sigh)

Last time I really zoned out... and not fell asleep so I could really enjoy it had been quite some time... Sometimes I can do that driving which is probably why I enjoy driving... you are focused in a direction and moving away from behind...

All this alone time has been pretty good for me. I feel a bit recharged. Tweaked in a few areas however. (I'm still getting angry over nothing too easily)...

Talked to a man at the park... it was kinda sunday school one on one a bit... but instead of some huge presentation it was just simple stuff... GOD HOW I LOVE SIMPLE THINGS. WHY CANT I THINK MORE SIMPLE SOMETIMES ABOUT YOU.

Anways... let him know some background as of late... And the funniest thing happened when I was talking about it...

1. It really seemed trivial and stupid
2. Realized through the conversation sometimes God builds character in strange ways
3. Realized that I still ache for what is good and right.. it's just under the surface been covered up by poo

It was good to hear scripture again and talk about Jesus. It was good to hear it in simple unexploited terms and not twisted.

It was good to listen to opnions and just go to that zone... it's like light.. love...

It's deep and flowing and very mighty... overwhelming... curious... changing... and it draws you inside...

It was good.

i'm far from perfect.

Never will be perfect.

Nonetheless.... I just realized I have one hairy knuckle on my right hand... just one finger knuckle... STRANGE

Aight i'm going home... Cisco misses me I know... and my bed sounds so lovely right now.