*DISCLAIMER* I use the blog to vent at times. If you don't like it... the net is a big place, go somewhere else.

I'm kinda zapped today.

Have a client trying to take advantage of me a bit. I'm more broke than ever waiting on someone to start a project (have bid on who knows how many projects and just waiting). ..

Friend calls this afternoon that I talk to on the air, and asks if I can take a look at his computer. His harddrive started the click of death. No good there. He had several other hard drives in the computer that were interfering with his bios. I put his new 40 gig in and formatted... fdisk.. whole nine yards... his windows xp wont install... put 98 on it... good to go... computer fixed.. I get asked if I can get the info off the other hard drives... again the bios wont accept it since it is an old computer. I'm not a computer tech... i'm a programmer. And I was doing a favor and not being paid on my own time when I would rather be on the thing called the couch watching the thing I think is called a tv... been so long I don't know if they even call them that anymore..

He calls several times after I get home.... he can't do what he want's to do... I'm like... I don't know bro.. I did what I could... I didn't come to preform miracles.

I've known the guy for 10 years so I really didn't mind... while I was working on his computer he was out working on a friends car getting it fixed so I was pretty much alone and what not... I drop one of the screws in the floor and it rolls under the desk... so I rake the carpet with my hand and come out with a roach and the screw...

So I'm like... oh yeah... way to go bro... i'm doing favors for a pot head.

I throw it in the trash.

So it looks like next weekend I might go back and see what else I can do... I doubt I can do anything. GET A MAC. They work. They are easy to fix. Or don't load anything serious on windows 98 and put it behind a firewall. Can't kill either one.

While on my way to irving... mom calls.. they bought me a fiberoptic christmas tree and are standing outside my apartment... I'm not home... they want to come in... I know I have a pile of laundry in the living room to be sorted and Im not thrilled about them going in my apartment because the heat is off so I can save some money... So I tell them to take it to their house.. and here is where it gets kinda cynical... kinda...

I'm poor folks. I'm really poor. I wont go into details but i'm humbled poor and before christmas it kinda hurts.

I'm thinking....Can yall take back that tree and get me groceries? I don't want a damn fiberoptic tree. Cisco will chew on it.. probably choke... I just want to eat during the week when my folks don't invite me to dinner.

It's the hardest time of the year because most folks budget has run out for doing the kind of work that i do... it's rough before christmas... I have $30,000 dollars in quotes out... which anyone can take their pick and i'm okay till the end of spring... but they have to have money too..

Had a bill from the opthamalogist who was checking out my nerve damage come in the mail.... have other bills I cant pay... i'm desperate and frustrated and angry and pretty pissed that I busted my ass to do what I do and not seeing much in results at the moment.

But let me tell you that is me venting. Because i know it will work out okay... it always does... but i'm near the end of a rope here folks... ALL GONE... not much left.

Ive had it with fast talking people who are YEAH YEAH YEAH LETS GET STARTED TOMORROW and they end up not even ......... I digress


The Lord sort them out and his will be done...


It's easy enough like that... I don't have to be the mediator.