Got a fire in the fireplace this afternoon. Very cheery.

I see it on the ground out there. Faint hues of white gathering in the nooks and crevices. To me... bring it on. I love it. I would be happy with about a foot of snow and 20 degrees as long as it wanted to stay around. Sat on the couch earlier...

I find it somewhat interesting that I have finally caught up as of today. I'm pretty caught up for the most part. Will still be busy but no longer stuck in the mud until I get some stuff done... Good things.

Black lady at the checkout counter at walmart made me laugh a warmhearted laugh. When is the last time that has happened there? Usually the retired door receipt snipers who think anyone young should have every item checked for theft pisses me off... but for a change she was really kinda nifty.

One of those deals where I bet if you went to her house to visit, her kids and family would be pretty funny to hang around. Good people... you can always pick them out of the masses.

Funny thing last night... pizza guy was about the same age and in college to be a music business major... saw the setup and the desk and had to come in to take a look. (WARNING WARNING ABORT ABORT) Are you profiling my apartment? But he seemed honest and started talking about dreams outside of pizza hut and asking tons of questions.

Convo lasted about 5 min or so... He checked out the desk. Really liked the new flatscreens I have. (Thanks again mom, you didn't know the need I had for them and i have a ton of desk space now). And I caught a glance from him that he was kinda inspired. Asked me how business was doing... " It's not easy... but it's paying off now... things look good."

He totally got sidetracked and made a fumbling swift exit trying not to impose with a faroff smile. I figured it out. He had a few dreams. So it was good to kinda inspire someone for a change. What good is what I do if I cant give it to someone else later right? Share a few pointers. Get excited about something...

Every once in a while it's funny because a piece of sleet bounces down into the fireplace and you hear this neat sizzle. Kinda amazing how loud sleet is. Sleet always wakes me up for some reason if its late at night.

Here is what I got in my head:

This is home. Home today. I'm warm. Have a few groceries that will last a week... fire in the fireplace. A really cool cat... and stuff that has so many stories.. .. ice in the window... and the ducks are huddled together on the big rock in the middle of the lake...I have a steamy cup of coffee that tastes really good... Chopin etude playing in the background, light bit of work to do this afternoon... and ya know...

For the first time in I can't remember when.. it feels like I could drop off to sleep and actually sleep and wake up rested. Things are rolling down to a end of the year holiday pace. I have everything I need right now. And i'm deeply incredibly richly thankful. Part of me is like... dang I didn't know I would survive it all and be sitting here with complex notions and thoughts and be thankful for it all.

I know it's past thanksgiving.. but it must be said I'm thankful to God. Thankful for life. The ability to take a dare in the future of something... and to remember the past and see what is good, and what developed out of the mistakes... and that twinge of fear of not knowing what tomorrow holds each day kinda keeps everything in check.

Now I just need a woman to share this with. Thats the only thing that seems to be missing. A wife... someone I can enjoy it all with together. Someone with the ability to slap me upside the head when i'm on the rabbit trail of a sugary sappy moment and grin.

And children to raise, that they might grow and learn and see life too... and try to hold myself back when I see them make the same mistakes that I made.


Family is the longest thing to learn how to do... along with the highest payouts of joy and love tagged with the deepest heartaches it's a gift that keeps giving.