Saw some today. A few of those wonderful balls of puff kids find so facinating. Dandelions.

Got some funny stories about dandelions in the past. But as for that I will digress.


Chilly winter. Lots of ice and snow. Been toddling around waiting tables since I shut down the business. It's good to be around people all the time now. Needed a breather and respid from the gloop of all the mistakes I made.

I don't make much money but it's enough.

This winter has proved to be a struggling time. Lost my grandfather to cancer. I miss him terribly. I'm so happy to have known him while he was alive. It's amazing how he has shaped my own life.

Nearly lost my dad to an asthma attack not 2 weeks later after my grandfather died. He ended up in intensive care.

2 weeks later he wins an quarter million in the lottery.

2 weeks later I am still pondering my future just like last fall.

and now...

My cadence has been fading. That life song inside that gets all inspired and ready to fight till the death for something good. Or maby it is changing rather. Maby a passage in the tune where you are transitioning to that next movement.

I want to get in the car and drive. No direction ... well actually probably knowing me it would be northwest somewhere... Mountains... green.... would love to see some awesome snow and breathless sunsets.

I just need some stillness. Quiet. Sweet peace that recharges those points in your heart that become worn. Those spots scratched and tarnished by life, that upon being cleaned cast striking reflections of the bottom line in life. How can a diamond sparkle without light. How can it's brillance be charged and awed unless the dust and debris of life are wiped off, cleansed, polished... cooled to the touch after the friction of pain and stress have created new facets and ideas.

I need that new strength and energy. Because deep down somewhere inside me it's a fuel burning and churning with potential waiting for the right moment to flare. It's the lack of oxygen... stamina... deprived due to stress encircling that true meaning that is extinquishing the perimeter and i'm tired of it.

I'll be damned to let a perimeter be placed around my potential. I'll be damned to let other voices and actions quench my possibility and reaction. Granted i'm not perfect, but strive to be my best... so let the others be silenced. Let them all stand down with their hands to their side and mouths shut.

Let that be a start.

Spring is in the air. New life is ringing up from the earth and from the sky. Yesterday is no longer a tomorrow anymore and that leaves me with now.

And while i'm on the subject I still want some flan from Abuelos. Geeze.

Okay?